Good morning, Well it is July 14, 2020 I’m sitting in my backyard watching Enzo in the pool drinking the water well is over here huffing and puffing because it’s so hot outside, and nova is sitting here in her crate. It has been a hell let me tell you hell of a ride the last year. I guess I should’ve actually blocked the whole time but I really didn’t feel well and I still don’t feel that great. But I do feel is that Multiple Myeloma is more of a long lasting suffering cancer. The good part about Multiple Myeloma is you can live a long time with it, The bad part out about it is that you can live a long time with it! What I mean about that is it’s literally exhausting surviving cancer. Every day is a new day and it’s a blessing! What is really difficult is the date today physical and emotional feelings pain fear that comes along with it. I know this is all an allusion I know that this all is not even real and one day I will transverse to just a soul which is great! Are used to be really funny. Are used to be able to just write and laugh and make jokes but I’m not so funny anymore. I just look around and find things that make me happy this 2020 has been a nightmare of a year. It’s almost like a new joke. We have the COVID-19 which is basically a novel virus that is killing 100,000 people in the US and 3.3 million people across the world probably up to 5 million or 10 million people have been infected. If I get it or anybody in my family gets it we could actually die. The President of the United States is Donald Trump. I’d rather just plug about my life my family instead of blogging about what’s going on the world because it’s so terribly depressing right now. I I have grandkids husband family everything is just doing well right now. I go this week to California UCLA to see my oncologist there and we are going to just get some bloodwork and check everything out! California is a hotspot for COVID-19 it’s also called the coronavirus of course and so we have to be very careful and they’ve actually closed everything down again they’re in California. I’m expecting LasVegas will also close down again. I’m gonna get up and start my day I’ll Do another post and try to keep doing this at least every couple days!

Here we go again....

Good morning! Well we’re starting all over and this time it’s at the lovely new cancer called multiple myeloma! I was diagnosed on March 19, 2019!

Happy 2012!

Well well well...its December 31, 2011 and I am sitting in Lake Havasu Arizona with Jackie, Ben, Nick, Ray, and Rob. It is going to be a quiet New Years eve. Whew it has been a crazy summer and now end of the year. The baby has grown so very much he is 2 1/2 and such a precious doll I love him so very much!

New Job, I like it, but who knows. School is awesome, already done with my first year. Start my sophmore year next week!

My kids are amazing, Ray is great, Boo is almost finished with school graduates in March! Bear is going to school and he and Coco are doing well.

Mom is good and in Atlanta with Sean right now.
Dad and Jacquie are good....
Lori is good too!!

Well I will post more this coming week!

Family, Fun and Life....

Hi hi Hi...

It was Rob's Birthday on Sunday...but we had a surprise B-Day party for him on saturday night! He was so surprised. I invited our friends, and family and he was totally taken! Me and Mom and Ray and Lesley made 60 yes...count them 60 chicken and cheese enchaladas and I made 4 tons of rice...LOL and beans too!

Dad and Jacquie came over, and Nick and Katy, Kim & Carlos...everyone had a good time.

Frannie made her Cheesecake..which of course was phenom!!!

It's Monday...I didn't talk much about my trip to the Bahamas with Rachele..so I wanted to just do a quick synopsis!

We flew to Florida on the red eye on the 15th of April, landed, went shopping, and helped pack the boat for the long trip to the Bahamas.

We slept on the boat, and got up around 6am for the embarkation! IT was so beautiful to watch the sunrise as we were leaving Lauderdale. We had a 5 hour trip to the first Island which was Lucaya, Freeport, Grand Bahama's. It was event full with pleanty of sick stomachs and all that jazz! But we slept a lot, and pulled into port and really enjoyed the time.

We only spent one night there...and didn't really go anywhere but the village that was right next to the docks. We headed to the beach close to the docks, and spent the day just playing in the water and having fun. We got a few handmade necklaces from the locals and really enjoyed the weather!!

We went to sleep and woke up straight away when the ballasters of the boat began to grind and grunt while leaving the harbor. We quickly downed a couple of Bonine, and were on our 8 hour ocean journey to Nassau!

Ray and I slept a few hours, and before you knew it, we could see about 10 miles in the distance Atlantis. I felt a sense of joy at seeing land, and could almost understand how when people years ago were sailing to the new world, or just trading spices etc. happened upon the land how it was a sense of accomplishment, and happiness. We of course have all of the modern equipment, radar and depth perception etc. We just set the course, and hit auto pilot and off we go.

Nassau was AMAZING! We went to the Atlantis Resort, walked around and spent a number of hours at the water park!! I wanted to take so many photo's but we were always soaking wet!! Rachele loved Atlantis! I did too! I would love to go back. We were there for 2 days, then hightailed it to Eleuthria! Eleuthria was absolutely breath taking!! Beaches that I have never seen, and amazing people who were so very kind and beautiful!!

We went to a Club Med beach, that was deserted because of a Hurricane a few years ago. It was a private beach, and now it is public and has pink sand and is beautiful!

A place where I could sit for hours and watch the surf. Peaceful..beyond even explanation.

We were there for a few days, saw an amazing site called the Glass Window Bridge. It was something that I will always remember!! One side of the bridge has the Angry Atlantic, the other side...The Calm Caribbean Sea. The narrowist place on earth.

We spent 3 nights in Eleuthria and then we sailed back to Nassau. We spent another two nights in Nassau at the Atlantis resort, so a total of 4 nights there! Rachele loved it again because we were able to go back to the water park. We rode the 'Current' which is just riding on the river, with slips and falls and a huge wave machine. We laughed, and we just enjoyed such an amazing wonderful clarity how life is such a beautiful thing.

I had such a good time with my family, and with my beautiful daughter.

Happy to be here to enjoy the gifts of family, fun, life and of course my daughter!!

Be Well Folks!!

Just This Close....

Well with a deep breath I sit here on May 2nd, 2011 and write my words. Sooo much has happened since I last wrote..ya ya..I know I am remiss. The most important update: Ok..wait for it.... I found my Sister! Yay! Ok for those of you who don't know, and apparently there were more than a few, I have a sister and her name is Kim. She is my half sister, my father's daughter. I have known about her for as long as I can remember, and finally I was able to find her thanks to Ancestry.com.

I am not going to bore you with all of the details, but it was a bit hard to find her, but I did it..Ok...so I will bore you with the details, because in a few years...I know I will forget!

I began researching somewhere around 2001 or so. Online etc. All that I know is that my sister's name was Kim. She was born on June 9th and that her mother's name was Florence. Not much information to begin with. Recently my gusto for researching family lineage began to overflow! I couldn't seem to stop, with all of the amazing information that I was finding not only on my side of the family tree, but on Rob's as well. There were death certificates from Rob's GG Grandfather, which led to more and more information on his lineage. I was purely elated by how 'easy' it seemed to find the information I was looking for! I decided to dig a bit deeper. Here I was with all the tools I needed at my fingertips, yet I didn't really know how to go about searching. I began watching a new show called aptly 'Searching For' with a professional genealogist Pam Slaton. She is an adoptee who began searching for her birth parents and made a career out of searching for family members of people who request her help. I was going to contact her, but thought that I would indeed watch her show, and see exactly how she did it.

So I did.

And with that...I found her. I found that her mother re-married some 7 years later after divorcing my father (rightly so) and that Kim had been adopted by her new and only father Albert. She told me that he is a great father, and like Sean and I who have a great father too, was very lucky. Armed with this new information, and knowing her last name, I entered the information into Ancestry.com website, and really, literaly held my breath. And straight away, up popped her name, and attached to her name was in (parens) her married name. I let out a big sigh, and realized that I found her married name, and armed with that...I KNEW I could find her.

I looked up her married name and found that she had indeed been married sometime ago in the 1980's and found her husbands name as well. I actually just sat on that information for a couple of weeks, already knowing that I was about T-H-I-S...(finger and thumb about 1mm apart) close to finding her. I had an old address, and two other addresses so I wasn't so sure which address was hers. Lorimy BFF being the Realtor that she is, told me to look up the County assessor records for the county she lives in, which of course is public record! Thank goodness she is a smarty pants...because when I went onto the County Assessors website, and typed in her name...Low and behold, a house was quit claimed to her by her husband in 2010! Therefore....I now had her address, at least what I thought was her address.

I decided before I went on holiday with Rachele to send her a card, and just to let her know that we were indeed related, and that I wanted to talk with her. I included my business card and sent it off the day we were leaving.

I didn't expect much, or much of anything to be truthfully honest. I wasn't sure how this news of being her sister would be taken. I didn't know if she knew anything about my 3 brothers and I. Well as you have it...she didn't. She didn't know anything at all about any of us. She emailed me first, with a short and to the point email that basically said she didn't know anything about our biological father, or his family. I felt it was important, that she know in case she had children, and for her to know about her biological father just for goodness sake.

WE have chatted a couple of times on the phone, and facebooked, and emailed..and it's all been Great! I love getting to know about her, and her children and I still want to get to know more.

I have a Sister!!

I am more than excited that she is just as excited to know about Sean and David and Bruce too!

This is only a short 'synopsis' of what happened while searching for my sister. I hope to continue growing our relationship, and learning more about her in the years to come.

Super happy!!

Thanks!!

Dids, Disneyland....and Horton

It's Tuesday... It's a good day today. Was feeling a strange pain in my upper jaw, neck. Could it be related to the fact that I have been sick for about 3 weeks!! I am sure, or it could be the tooth that I need to get filled. Note to self: Go to the dentist!

Oh well...I am most sure that I am perfectly good and ok. I am watching Connor eat some chicken nuggets that I just cooked him, and he dips it in ranch. No chicken nuggets unless we have ranch! He's such a handful of energy but worth every single minute of exhaustion that I have. Why? WELL...Ready...Wait for it.... EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY! So in the future, I won't be spending 10 hours a day with this perfect prince, nope...just already know this. He should be in pre-school in a year and a half I would guess. He's so smart, knows everything that you say. I am teaching him his colors. Blue is the color of the day today. So I go around the house and gather blue things and teach him BLUE. We had Blue Mac and Cheese today. Yes..it was blue. He ate the Blue mac-n-cheese and loved it! He likes the movie Horton Hears a Who! He is watching it today, for the second time. He doesn't usually sit down, he runs about watching TV and then sitting down when he wants.

I love teaching him new things, especially words. New words are fun. He can say a number of words now. Let's see he is almost 19 months old. These are the list of words he can say: Happy, Lola, Baby, Football, Ball, Eat, Juice (Sounds like Jew! lol), for Cat he says Owme, like Meow but backwards? He says Mama, Dada, Papa, Goti (for Grama Martello), Nana for me and mom, He calls Amanda and Ray "E". Just "E". It's so cute. He says Maaaa for More. He says Peeeese. I can't think of anything else right now.

Anyway...so looking forward to starting school yet again... getting a degree in Public Health it might take a couple of years, but it will be worth it. Got Financial Aid yippee..its realy expensive to get a degree online...yikes!!!

On Friday morning Ray goes to Disneyland with her 8th grade class! Yipee for her. She should have a great time. She is excited to get away with her friends ALONE and have no parents.

Well enough of everything I can think of. I am feeling good, but need to really work on eating better...which equates to loosing weight!! I could stand to loose a pound or two.

Who doesn't!

See Ya!!!!!

Catching up!

Good Morning!!

Yesterday was Berto's 20th birthday. He's 20 already...I can't believe it!! We were in So.Cal for Brittany and Felipe's Wedding/Anniversary. They did the Sacrament wedding in the church. It was beautiful! We left early on Sunday to get back for Bear's bday.

We went to Grandma's house where Bear and Coco and Connor live to have a very nice dinner! Bear wanted Steak and Crab, and we had cupcakes for his "cake". It was nice, Boo, Ray, Coco, Connor, Frannie, My mom, and Rob.

The past few weeks have been crazy for the world. The HUGE earthquake 9.0 in Japan and the Tsunami on 3-11-01. So, so horrific. There is a nuclear disaster as well, with a Fukishima nuclear power plant. We are waiting to see what happens there. Libya is in major trouble, Kadafi the leader is on his way out. He needs to leave, and the UN has issued a no fly zone so in essence Kadafi can't fly his airforce jets.

It's raining today, coooolllldddd.. 42 degrees! I love it!

Well Connor just got here..so it's another blessed day with my Grandson!

So cal in a couple of weeks, then Florida and the Bahamas with Ray!!!

Talk soon!!

As easy as 1,2,3...

So...today I have payed it forward, 29 gifts etc. 3 times today. It wasn't that I did it intentionally, what happened came to me as I suppose it was supposed to.

1st thing happened this morning as I sat logging into my email. Up popped an email from a woman who was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer for a second time. I wrote her back, and extended my thoughts, and prayers and love. I was pretty straight to the point, I kind of have a way like that...sometimes mostly all the time I don't sugar coat anything. I was very kind of course and sympathetic, offered advise, thoughts and of course help if she needed.

2nd thing was a phone call from a good friend, who is hurting because her boyfriend (my husband's best friend and my grandson's uncle)broke up with her 2 weeks ago. I told her after 2 1/2 years of hanging out, she could always come over and call anytime. Well today was a particularistic bad day for her. I listened for 45min and 23 seconds. She needed a shoulder to cry on. That took up some time of my day, and I was so happy to extend the love, and felt good helping her.

3rd thing that happened was I got an envelope from a company. No biggie. I opened it and it was addressed to our address, yet a company name. Thinking nothing about it, I opened the envelope and on the paper inside was a man's name dates of employment, and his date of termination along with his social security number. NICE!! It was obviously sent to the wrong address. I now have everything I need to steal this man's identity and make his life a living he**. Of Course that is nothing that I would EVER do! So I promptly took out my lap top, and looked up the company and gave them a call. I got this really nice woman named Brooke, and she was aghast. I explained what I had in front of me, and she promptly gave me a FedEx number to mail her the envelope and the letter inside. I got up, drove my self to the nearest Post Net and while addressing the envelope my phone rang again. It was Dan, the head of HR, or some other position, apologizing over and over for the mix-up and was going to raise 'bloody hell' for the mistake. I reminded him that people make mistakes, and that I had no problem mailing back to him the confidential information. He thanked me over and over, and was so nervous, but kind.

So that is what has happened so far this day, it's 3:20 pm. I have been taking care of the baby, cleaning up, and I am making a delicious dinner of spaghetti and meat balls, garlic bread, and a fat fluffy salad!! So... I better get my self going to get it done by 5:30!!

Have a great, amazing, wonderful, everything you want day!

Be Well,

Stacy

Crazy Dreams

Soooo.... I have had totally crazy dreams lately. The one I had last night, of course fits straight away into that category. It was an end of day's for sure dream.

The whole west coast was flooded, and not just up against your knees, I am talking Completely covered in water. I was watching the flood waters rise, and could tell you that it was catastrophic. It covered valleys homes, cities, people and just plain crazy. Then I was going to be left behind by my family, because Rob didn't think that I could climb a mountain to get away from the flood waters. I was so upset. I was also sick. I was talking with some doctors and was told that I have a AAA. Abdominal, Aortic, Aneurysm. No, no not for real, it was in my dream. Then I asked the doctors how long I had to live, and they said months, and I smiled, and said at least it isn't just days!! LOL...WHAT??

What a crazy dream. Now the end of days dream is because I was reading a report called overview to the ARKstorm scenario. Here is the link: http://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2010/1312/of2010-1312_text.pdf

Interesting report about a Superstorm in California. Which I think is kind of funny because yes, it takes up most of the coast of the west coast, but what about Washington State, and Oregon??

I don't think so. I don't buy into it.

Well...we shall see!

The Apocalypse???

Has it begun?? LOL...this is what the media is saying all over the world. According to news media around the world there have been multiple deaths of marine animals as well as birds.

Here is the link for the crabs that died in England.

http://www.huliq.com/10164/40000-dead-devil-crabs-found-washed-along-uk-shores

Here is the link for the Chesapeake Bay Fish.

http://www.huliq.com/10164/over-2-million-dead-fish-found-along-marylands-chesapeake-bay

Thousands of Red Winged Black Birds die on New Years Eve.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/01/02/ap/strange/main7206964.shtml?tag=contentMain;contentBody

Dead Birds Fall From Sky In Sweden, Millions Of Dead Fish Found In Maryland, Brazil, New Zealand

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/05/dead-birds-fall-from-sky-_n_804591.html


Let's keep an eye on this!!

OK adding to this:

Turtle Doves in Italy!


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344913/Animal-death-mystery-8k-turtle-doves-fall-dead-Italy-blue-stain-beaks.html

Christmas & Sushi

Hello Folks,

It's the day after Christmas, and I am so glad that's over! Hey, Hey, no Bah Humbug here, just friggin tired! Picture this: Rob comes home to pick me up on the 23rd the day before Christmas eve, and I have already been to the store, taken care of Connor, and cleaned the house etc. You get the picture. I'm tired. He says to me, oh we only have a few things to get. I'm thinking, me and him shopping, and stopping to get a bite to eat, since I have only had a nibble of food around 11am.

No such luck. 5 stores later, I'm dragging myself around, and Mr. Christmas Chicken is basically 10 steps ahead of me! Come on hurry up!!! I sqeek out the word, I think I'm going to faint, as we begin our last voyage through the Albertson's grocery store! I don't even get the cart to hang on to before I go down! But alas, I see Sushi, Fresh made (I'm sure this morning and this was this evening now around 7:30 pm)and I make a bee hive for it! Yep, if I can get the wrapper open, nothing is going to stop me as I hunch over my open package of "fresh" sushi and ahhhhhhh alas food!! I glance up to see a look of complete horror on the face of Rob. His eyes are huge, and I glance around protecting my 'kill' as if someone any second would tell me to "PUT THE FOOD DOWN, BACK AWAY FROM THE FOOD!" Nope, not me! I proceded to down 3 California Roll slices and take a deep breath. By this time, I can see Rob turning the corner towards the meat aisle and the cart is on two wheels!

He's completely mortified! I, now with about three morstles of food for fuel catch up with him. He says to me, "What the hell are you doing?" all the while still looking at me like I have committed a murder straight in front of the sushi station, right there on Christmas Eve, Eve. "HELLO, I told you I was about to pass out, from not eating!" Rob quietly looks around and says to me. "Only fat people eat while they are grocery shopping!" WHAT?? REALLY? I started laughing like a hyeana, right there and of course he was mortified again. I didn't go straight to the cookie asile and grab a bag, tear into it and begin a trail of crumbs!

I get this thing called hypolycemia. Effects can range from vaguely "feeling bad" to seizures, unconsciousness, and (rarely) permanent brain damage or death. I know I was close to a seizure, unconsciousness and permanent brain damage for sure!!! Ok... maybe I already have a bit of permanent brain damage, so let's just skip that one and go to unconsciousness. Yes the cookies would have made a huge difference, because you need a large and quick dose of carbs, when you get to the hypoglycemia stage, my body knew this because I instantly craved the sushi when I saw it!! So I figured the sushi was right there, easily accessible and fairly easy to eat without someone running away from me mortified and such!

Well we finished the shopping and came home, and yes I climbed up the stairs one at a time, and on all fours!!

Into bed to begin dreams of who know where my brain will take me tonight!

Christmas Eve was the next day, and I worked my tush off! We had TONS of food, which included Lobster tails, Shrimp, Beautiful Clams with Linguini, Cod, the best mushroom recipe ever, and tons of Noshes! My dad and mom Jacquie came over as well as Dale and Stacy and the 4 kids. Coco, Connor, Bear, Boo (who had to work till 9) Rob and I and Grama Jojo had a nice night. We ate a lot, and talked a lot, and just had a blast.

Christmas day we got up and had some bagels and cream cheese and Lox with eggs etc. We then opened our gifts which were so nice to see. Berto and Coco got a lot of the Fiesta ware they wanted, Ray got a new Cell phone, and Uggs as well as Boo getting a new GPS guidance system for her car and Uggs too! Everyone got Uggs! (except the boys)

We went over to Steve and Sheryl's for dinner with Michael and Ben and his girlfriend Alex. We played Just Dance 2 on Wii, and it was hilarius!! Had a few bloody mary's and some wine.

The menu was traditional pasta, with sausage and meat balls, it was very good! Steve worked his butt off for the meal, and Sheryl did with the table setting and the decorations. Good work!!

It was very good, but we stayed too late. I was totally wiped out. I am always the designated driver and by 11:30 I wanted to cry I was so tired. We drove home, all happy and wiped out but thankful for such a good time!

Mom stayed with Aunt Sheila for Xmas day, she was with us in the morning to open gifts, and then was over to Janine's to watch the dogs, as they were in NJ.

That's about it! So much for Christmas....Bring on the new year!!


Love to all!!

Stacy

It was all about Hopping yesterday!

Yesterday was a fantastic day! It was my sister-in -law's 40th birthday bash. We started at Olive's in the Bellagio hotel! What a beautiful place to dine. It's the 3rd time I have been there, and everytime I go I am always satisfied. Right outside of the restaurant they have a Menu board, all touch screen it's pretty Future, and I loved it!

I had the Cheese Ravioli, with a thin red sauce with succulent sausage inside! Fantastico!

We left Olive's and went over to the new COSMOPOLITAN Hotel! Unbelievable hotel! Very upscale, and smelled so new. It just opened 4 days ago. The amount of crystal, and mirrors and glass, and oh everything is so beautiful.

From there we took the limo over to Aria, which is a property on City Center. I haven't been to City Center, which is sad since it has been open for a year! We stayed at Aria, and I played Roulette, which I love to play!

We left Aria, and walked over to the Mandarin Oriental and went to their bar on the roof level and just loved the views! That was a beautiful view with the city lights sparkling through the windows!

After Aria, we went to one of our favorite places Charlie Palmers. It's inside of the Four Seasons hotel inside the Mandalay Bay! We had a blast for a while until we were told we were a bit noisy!

After that we walked over to the Mandalay Bay and went to Eye Candy, a small club and sound bar in the middle of the casino!

After that.....Del taco, and then crawling up the stairs into my nice soft bed!

I didn't wake up until 8:00am. Late for me. That was a great day, and I feel so blessed to be able to do that, be healthy enough to go around and spend the whole day with family and friends! There were 13 of us!

Well making Christmas Cookies today with Ray and Boo, and off to the market to get the ingredients for Rob to make his amazing gravy for pasta tonight!

Love you all!!

Stacy

Having a Blessed Day!

How often do you hear people say, "Have a Blessed Day"? Probably not much. To me, this phrase is a tender greeting, blessing someone on their day. Encouraging generosity. It's about sharing love and kindness and giving the person on the other side of the blessing a chance to take a break from the original "Have a good day" and really think about having a blessed day! There is a difference. The usual "Have a good day" is of course usual. Most people say it without thought or presence. Have a fantastic day, or wonderful day, or great day...a little better of course than the usual, but still doesn't give the person you are 'blessing' that extra OOMPH!

I get up early every morning and take the time to search my mind for the good things that will come my way today. It's like putting your radio on a control called "seek" and the radio automatically begins to find all the strong signals or stations available. Good thoughts can be louder and stronger than anything, if you let them. So when my mind went on automatic and began to seek the positive thoughts, I took the controls and decided where I wanted my mind to stay.

I decide every day to look in the mirror and love the person I see, however imperfect. I put on my clothes, comb my hair, put on a little makeup and gave myself my warmest smile, generally reserved for those I love. I decide to feel blessed and focus on the wonderful things going on in my life. You see, whatever is not going well in your life will still be there tomorrow. And tomorrow you can decide not to have that blessed day, if you like.

One day at a time, but on this day, I decide that I was blessed and I was going to stay that way for the entire day. I set my mind solidly on this "station".

I made this statement out loud--"Whatever comes into my day today, whether it is wonderful and beautiful, or even if it is masquerading as trouble, I am setting my mind on having a blessed day."

All through the days that I lived consciously blessed, I find goodness. Sure, somethings don't go as planned, like having to take my son his spare key to his truck 30 miles from my home because he accidentally locked them in his car. But instead of complaining, I listened to Christmas Carols on radio and watched my grandson in the review mirror bob and weave to the tune. (He's only 14 months old!)

Maybe there are other intrusions masquarading as trouble that enter your day. It's all in how you respond to them. But by being conscious of your choice to have that blessed day, you know that changing your thoughts can indeed change your day!!

Love you all!!

Stacy

One Size Fits All

Do you know what I find is super special?? Seeing my grandson eat. How boring right?

Well to me it's great. Because he isn't an eater. he doesn't like food much and when he does eat, I can't help but be so happy about it. He's 14 months old, and just doesn't like food much. Give him the bottle, and he's so happy, but food...not so much.

Today I went to BJ's with Boo and Connor for lunch, he ate like a pro. He ate broccoli for the first time as well as pizza crust which he loves. The only thing he had to do was dip it in Ranch Dressing. He loves Ranch dressing...get's that from his Dad for sure!

I made a phone call today to Marc Heyeison from Men Against Breast Cancer, we are going to set up something for him and Fightpink to do something after the first of the year.

He's a gem. Lucky to know him! Tomorrow it's another phone call with Cin and our executive producer Derek for the movie we are working on. Supposed to be getting some good news so I am excited about that.

Cindy is so funny, she's always Ms. Sunshine! So it's good to surround yourself with that.

I was just talking to Ray, and asking her if I smell good, and she said to me "I don't have super sonic smelling like Amanda!" Nice....

Well today has been a good day! I am a bit on the tired side, go figure, I am running around all day with a 1 year old on my hip. No shopping tonight, not up to it. I want to just curl up in my snuggly bed, with some candles on my nightstand, and maybe a glass of vino!!!

This is kind of a boring post, so I think I am going to read my horoscope, be right back!

Ok Got it: You need to indulge your flair for original thinking today -- a weird problem that arises mid-afternoon or later demands it. Once you settle on the solution, you should amaze your people.

LO friggin' L. I need to indulge my Flair for original thinking??? ME?? What? How absurd! I don't think I can think any other way. A weird problem arises mid-afternoon? Well it's past mid-afternoon, and the only weird problem was me figuring out that 'One size fits' all is an incomplete sentence. Honestly it is. One size fits all ______ fill in the blank. Hippo's, Horses, Cows, Kids, Cats, Beer Drinkers, Mom's, Fathers, Cabbages. Honestly! I can't seem to settle on the solution of the One size fits all, so today, no amazing my people.

I will write more tomorrow..

Night!

Stacy

It's Friday Eve! TGIT!

It's Thursday, and I am looking forward to today being a great day!

I usually like to start my day off with a few thoughts and a good quote!

So here goes!

When one is total, life flowers — and that flowering is spirituality. Spirituality is not an attitude, it is not a discipline. It is an outcome of a life lived totally, joyfully, delightfully; of a life of no complaint; of a life lived courageously, intensely. Then this flowering happens. -OSHO

I like this quote! It is very appropriate!

I will write more later, once I have something to say!

Magical Forest

It's 9:30 pm, and I quietly lay in my bed nestled with my blankets and pillows all the while listening to my man quietly snoring and the ceiling fan whirring.

It was a great day today, and I wondered what I did today that helped another? This is one thing that I strive to do, do something that helps another. Well, not sure of today's deed, but I did help myself a bit to some free time and writing.

We went to the Opportunity Village Christmas Magical Forest with the baby tonight, he was so cute, yet not when he approached Santa! He screamed like a wild habanchi!

We laughed so hard! We got a great photo of Bear and Coco and Connor! My mom met us there and it was great until it got so busy we couldn't even walk anymore. So we promptly gathered up our flock and headed to Chili's for dinner.

Dinner was uneventful except for Connor playing in the corner of the booth in a world by himself!! While we were talking tonight Berto said, "Isn't it amazing how much fun he had sitting in the corner of the booth playing and laughing without a care in the world?" I smiled and agreed! What a blessing to be able to watch something so simple, and beautiful!

Well off to sleep now....

Gnight!

Stacy

Scrambled thoughts about Xmas, Blessings, and Checkout lines at the Market

It's that time of year again! My Faaaaaaaaavorite time of year where we celebrate such wonderful holidays! Hanukkah, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween...

Well it's December 14th, and we only have Christmas left, and of course around this house it's total chaos! We have already celebrated Hanukkah, with the beautiful lights and wonderful prayers of thanks and all that! I had the Menorah all wrapped around my Christmas Runner on my Island in the kitchen. It looked very nice!

I love being able to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. That's a long story! Born to a Jewish mother, (the one with the bony knees) who didn't celebrate being Jewish because they really didn't know they were Jewish until it was dug up some years ago. So not until she was on her own, and chose to be Jewish did she go back to her Jewish roots. I was always raised Jewish, yet we did have a Hanukkah bush as we called it! I married a good ole Italian catholic boy, and thus my 3 kids are Catholic.

So in the Martello household we are just so busy with getting everything ready for Christmas. On Christmas Eve we hold the family event. It's with my Dad and Mom (Jacquie) and my Mama, and my family with the kids Boo and Rachele and Berto with his wife Coco and the baby Connor. We invite Rob's best friend Dale, who happens to be Coco's uncle, and his two kids and his GF Staci, so it's two Stacy's which is always fun! Lats year it was the feast of the 7 fishes. Traditional Italian meal. This year not sure what the menu is yet, but I better get my self moving!

Every year we invite friends to spend time and share space with our family. Last year we had Trish and Dr. Gregg Rubinstein. They are friends from High School, who live in Midtown Manhattan. Trish went to school with Rob from 8th grade through High School, and I really think she is an amazing person. She is also a Breast Cancer survivor. We kept in touch through the years, and recently I worked with her on her non-profit organization that helps the children of The Fresh and Green Academy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. She began doing fundraisers and helping the children, and it has become a passion of hers and Gregg, and they take at least 3 trips to the school each year.

What amazing people! I love to see how we can give back, that is what life to me is all about. Einstein said it best when he said that "Only a life lived for others, is a life worthwhile." I like that quote a lot. To me it is past a step of selflessness. To me the person who practices this has developed a sense of self worth, a loving self, and is able to surpass that, and give automatically, without thoughts of themselves. They are in no way compromising who they are, it's the opposite, they are giving to create more giving and so on.

Yesterday while shopping at the market, I smile at strangers, get mostly smiles back because it's the holiday season and shop while humming along. While checking out with my Mom and Ray, I always ask our checker, who by the way has only 3 teeth on her bottom jaw, and her husband is on house arrest for goodness knows what, (He just got out of jail, I know this because of multiple conversations over the past year or so) how she is. Giving her my full and complete presence. I stop moving, stare her straight into the eyes and ask how she is doing. She always responds. She smiles and says "Thank you for asking." I can feel her pain. She isn't so happy this soul, but deep inside she is beautiful. She is really a joyous soul. I feel that in her. We chit chat for what seems like 10 minutes, probably only 3 min. and I always Bless her, and say thank you. Being present in our conversation, not being on the phone, because I know she needs an ear, a heart that listens. When we were finished checking out, we get these stickers for Pot's and Pans. Collect enough stickers and we get a free pan. So why not right? I have 2 FREE shiny new pots thanks to Albertsons, that I got for only spending 1800$ in the past few months. I think that is funny, but if I spent $1800 at Smiths, I wouldn't have got anything, so why not spend the money and get a free pot or pan!! I almost have 90 more stickers only 3 shy, and then I will have another cooking pan! That $2700 spent in the past months shopping for 3 FREE pots and pans. LOL I love it!

Anyway....

Well as I was collecting my stickers, the man in the line next to me reached over tapped me on the shoulder and said "Merry Christmas" and promptly handed me 10 stickers! For each 10$ you spend you get one sticker. I loved that! He could have thrown the stickers away but this guy, nope he wanted to give something away. He was around 6 feet tall, football player looking kind of guy, not one that you would expect to hand you stickers and say Merry Christmas, but he did, right there smack dab in the middle of the checkout line. It's all about sharing and giving. I felt blessed right there...

Like attracts Like! It's physics.

I was completely present in my conversation, giving full joy, as well as not judging and the energy spilled over to the football guy in the next checkout lane.

So I promptly promised to pay it forward, and wished him a Merry Christmas too!

My daughter and Mom just smiled!

I absolutely love the way that life works, even when it's not perfect, it's exactly as it should be!

Love you all!!

Stacy

I Want Fat Knees!!

I want fat knees... for the third time in so many days, I banged my knee....the right knee on some sort of hard non moving object. Once on the game table just re adjusting while playing scrabble, I winced in pain to see my family looking at me with strange anticipation of me then falling to the floor and continue to contort myself. That didn't happen, they just wanted to know what could possibly elicit a pain response so suddenly. I said "The bony knee!" Oh....ya, no biggie, no help just looked back down to the scrabble play board.

The second time, getting up from the dinner table, on Thanksgiving. Ya, had 15 people there..I just winced, then drug myself around the corner to the bathroom and continued to cuss and contort all in private of course!

The third time, in my brother in laws office where we were sleeping, banged right into the stationary HUGE black desk. Like it wasn't there what so ever. Ya, fell into the chair, only to see Rob looking at me with a bit of concern. Ya...the bony knee again I managed to squeek out between loud yelps!! UGGG... give me some FAT!!!!
He walks out of the room and as I fall to the floor, I decide to call my mother and thank her.

I am blaming her for the boney knees. My knees are so boney, why?? I have no idea. The other parts of me are not boney. I would rather take some fat from some other part of my body and transplant to my friggin knees.

They are bony knees, and not even pretty what so ever. The right knee, is always the one to bear the brunt of my bumping. Probably because I tend to move that one first! (Right legged I presume)

My mother said that she decided not to be catholic because she cant kneel. LOL... She at the age of 8 decided that she will not be catholic, walked straight home from Catholic school because she couldn't kneel...because of her bony knees.

LOL..

So as I called to tell my Mom that I wanted the Fat knees, she promptly told me that she is 68, and she has news for me.... "that's not going to happen!" She has had bony knees for her whole life, and actually the rest of her is bony too!! I just got the bony knees from her...thanks MOM!

I got so many wonderful traits from my mother...but the bony knees.... I give them back!!!

Well off to brunch with the family!!

Love you!!!

Day 938

Hello all..

It's day 938 since my diagnosis of Breast Cancer. I remember day 1. It's been a very sobering journey, and I have met so many wonderful people.

Since I wrote last so much has happened. The most amazing and wonderful thing that has happened since I really wrote a long post was my grandson Connor was born. I watch him mostly every day. He is 13 months old now, and soo much fun!

Ok so on my Breast cancer. I am done with it. I am now helping others with my organization Fight Pink! Love it, and love to help others!

Well more later!!

Catch up...

Hello...

It's September 2010. What has happened this year??

Healthy, happy, baby, life, love, fun, teenager, wedding & baby, soo much.

We have been traveling a bit, and that has been fun. Went to Florida in April with my girls, and also went to San Diego, and Santa Barbara, and San Francisco.

I have to be more diligent in writing.

Met a new author Paul Samuel Dolman... good book Hitchhiking with Larry David. Awesome book. I loved it. Also we got new couches. I'm a bit tired now...and hitting a wall.

I need to rest...but have to work!

Talk to you later!

It's been a Lonnnnnnngggg Time!

Hi....Blogger folks...

Again, it's been a long time, and I am super remiss in not writing..

Everything is A-ok with me and being sick and all...not sick anymore.

Don't expect to be sick again EVER!!!

I have my 2 year re-birthday, on April 23rd. I am looking forward to being Cancer free the rest of my life for sure...

I have had feelings, like being close to dying, or death or something like that, but I don't know why??

Like I feel such a fine line...

WHew it's been a long long while..

Well the summer is over... Since I last wrote, It's been my birthday, Amanda's 21st, Rachele's birthday, and only 3 weeks until Connor is born!

Unbelievable!!

I am happy to write in my blog...I have been just so busy with Fight Pink, and writing there..so I haven't written much!

Life is pretty much the same...

Looking forward to having a blast with the baby!!

Bye!!

I don't like Coors Light! or is it that I don't like something else?

It's Sunday...

OH hold on a minute..I need to take the dogs out!

Ok back...

So yesterday was a day of fun! Not necessarily for me..but everyone else had fun.

I drove around in the morning with Ray to get some food for dinner. I ordered some mexican food from Roberto's because Rob said a lot of people were coming over to watch the fight/Lakers game.

It's just so funny. I wonder how it is ok, to spend all day...and I mean all day drinking beer, and swimming and spending time not with me..but with his friends..and that would include Berto. Ya, Berto and Rob are like the greatest friends.
As I sat on the stairs last night with Boo, around 11:45 pm...we discussed this:

What if I had a bus load of friends over my house all friggen day long, drinking beer and swimming? What would Rob do? I think he would leave. What do I do? Oh I make food..and serve.

Crappy actually. Oh and when I ask people to leave...ya at this point I have been upstairs for at least 3 hours, and Rob passed out in bed an hour ago, and yes people are still in my pool, and my jacuzzi....What is up with that?

Then I come down and be the B*tch and tell these people to leave..and they look at me like I have three eyes! Are you kidding me??? Ugh... I am so done with these parties and people coming over and spending 300$ on food and beer for everyone to eat.

Do you know what I would just like? I would like to just sit in the jacuzzi with my man...and just talk and laugh, and plan my future with him, and live.

I don't like to compete. I don't like to beg for time, because we really don't know how much time we have left.

So I went downstairs to put the dog out...and there is a trashcan that is totally overflowing with Beer cans... That is so redneck!

My perfect evening...soft music..candles..kicking in the jacuzzi...talking about life.

My not perfect evening...listening to hard music, tons of people screaming in the backyard, towels and towels to wash, going to my room just to be able to breathe and be alone....

How unaware is my family??? And when I say something... I am asked where I parked my broom!

Ya...I'm a little pissed off right now... Looking forward to Florida in a few weeks, like you have no idea!

Going to the OC again on Tuesday...just for a day trip..or maybe I will stay 1 night.

Ok..now I will go...and continue to be irritated!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

With a twist!!!!!

OK.... So it's May 21st... been a hellish 3 weeks since I wrote last!

My Grandma passed away and it was horrible. I found out on Monday morning May 4th that I needed to jump on a plane quick and get to California.

So I just made the reservation...got on the plane and my Aunt picked me up. We went straight to the hospital. My grandmother was not even very up...or awake. I fed her some water..and some ensure by a spoon, and we awaited the ambulance to pick her up to take her home.

We were taking her home, not because she was ok... we were taking her home to die.

How do you do that? How do you pack your grandma up and then get her to her house and just watch and wait for her to die?

WOW...I have never dealt with anything so sad and just plain crazy.

We nursed her night and day. I stayed with my mother, and my brother flew in from Atlanta...and we just waited...

Lots of pain, and a difficult interaction with a family member and she finally passed. I didn't want to see her go..

I remember so much.. I didn't want to remember her like that.

Ugh...

Did the whole funeral thing, with a twist! Ya..not talking about the twist.

I'm happy to be home after 2 weeks in California.

I am taking the girls on holiday to Florida at the end of next month...need some time with the girls.

I am so looking forward to that!

Just plugging along in this life..but I do believe that I would like to make some more plans. I am not sure what is prompting this, but I have a really crazy feeling that I need to do things in my life. Not wait until we have enough money to do everything. You NEVER have enough money to do things...or it isn't the right time to do things... ya know??

I have to do "things"- What things???

Here I will make a list:

I want to make a plan to go to visit one of the hotels here on the strip at least once a month, go to a show, go to dinner... I walked by the Paris Hotel this morning with Boo... and saw this cute cafe called "Mon Ami Gabi" which translates into My Friend Gabi. They are open for breakfast at 7am to 11am. How cool is that? I want to go to "Mon Ami Gab" and have breakfast.

I want to go on a weekend away with Rob just to reconnect...it's good for us to reconnect.

I want to take my Girls to New York, and to Paris in the next year. Paris in the spring time.. my dream.

I want to go to DC, and walk the Holocaust museum. I went there before..didn't stay long, but loved it.

I want to go to Italy, and take a picture by the Tivoli fountains.

I want to swim in the Mediterranean Sea, and ride a donkey in Greece.

I want to make plans to spend the rest of my life. I can't live my life in a day to day existance... I honestly would probably die if I couldn't make plans.

I don't think I was so much like this before. But I did need to always look forward to something to do, but now it is like a sickness...something that I can't seem to shake.

I want to get up, get out, live life..and not in a 9-5 everyday existence.

I want to share all the good times I have left with my family, my kids, and make plans to do that.

I look so forward to my new grandson, Connor. I love him so much already. He will be a great joy.

I want control of me..

I want to share my introspective thoughts as well...

I am a bit confused really on my life mission. I do know that I am to help people, and I think I am doing that, it was a promise I made to God, in 11th grade actually...one day when I lost something that I really really liked. I promised God right there that I would grow up and do something to help people. Silly huh???
But...he answered my prayer, and hopefully he is looking at me and thinking I am doing some good.

Although honestly, he already knows what I am going to do with me...Funny huh!

I guess he gave us free will too.. I could have made some bad choices..and maybe I did..but now I think I am on the right Path. (she says hesitantly)

So I was reading Osho today... and I like this thought..

"In the night, if you go to a lake and the lake is silent and there are no ripplles, the lake becomes a mirror. You can look at yourself in the lake, but you are false--just a reflection. The reflection comes from the real, but the reflection is not real. Mind is just as reflecting Phenomenon."

Ok... so I'm going to get dinner for me and Ray and Boo and CoCo..

That's a good thing...

Love you!

Birthday!

Hey just a quick note...It's Rob's birthday today...I spent the day shopping with Boo..most of the stuff we bought was for her..funnny how that happens.

We will have dinner here tonight for him...yea enchalada cassarole, and the kids and some friends..

Maybe swim..

It's a good thing!

Tomorrow is the Race for the Cure...I am so excited!

Everyone is going but I don't think Berto will be there :( I don't think Codena wants to go. She's very pregnant.

So up early in the morning...and off to the race!!

Oki doki...i have to go....still have to go to the market!

Mri's, Mammo, Manno and Meds!!

Hello everyone! Well today is April 27th...I celebrated my one year "re-birth" day on the 23rd!

How was my day on the 23rd? I had to go for my annual breast check! UGH..that means MRI--Mammo..etc.

I went on the 22nd to get some blood, and they put and IV port in my arm so I wouldn't have to be stuck more than once! Laura the Chemo nurse is soooo sweet she poked me once..and it didn't hurt, that is how I knew she didn't get my vein. Then I told her.."Hey how about here?" Right in the crook of my arm..the best vein that I have! Well it's a bit torn and tattered, but she got it the first try!

So gave blood came home with the port in my arm..

Then woke up in the morning and got out of the house by Noon. Amanda took me, and Ray did too, because it was Take your kid to work day, and she didn't want to go to school. So I was happy to have support with me when I had my tests.

We pull up to Nevada Cancer Institute, and WOW..they are dropping me off and going to lunch with Grama??? Did I hear you right??

Okie Dokie!!

Well I went upstairs first to see if they needed to flush the port..nope..then downstairs for my Mammo.

Ok so I get there and they say Bi-Lateral Mammo.... HUH??? WHY?? I only have one boobie with breast tissue?? So I go round and round with the girl, who honestly I don't think knows what a Mastectomy is? Finally a woman comes out from the back, and I explain her my situation...and she finally says oh...you have an implant from a mastectomy...got it! No bi-lateral Mammo!! I was meanwhile texting my doc who was upstairs at the time...asking him if he ordered my meds for the MRI.

Well done with the Mammo and onto the MRI I go and see Bill he is he MRI guy there..the only MRI guy.

I ask him if the Adivan is on its way..he says yep! Then 20 min later...while reading the people magazine cover to cover..I ask him again...he says Yep! Well it took about 45 min to get the medicine down to me!

Then I climb on the table..feeling good at this time..get slid into the tube..and promptly start dreaming...they pull me out, and flip me over like a flapjack, and breasts in the coils and then I hear my Doc..he's standing at the door checking to see if I'm ok? Yep..in dreamland..he wants to see me after the test. He couldn't get a hold of me because my Cellphone said it was disconnected, because it's a stupid cell phone!

Saw him quick in the office, he will let me know the results of the MRI and Mammo next week..he though I was "cute" on Ativan! LOL

I don't remember much of the day after that. I came home with my jeans and shoes on and climbed into bed...I was out until about 9:30 or so. I could hear faint screams of children in the pool, and Rob laughing! Wow..nice to see that everyone is having fun!! They should all be surrounding my bed, waiting on me hand and foot, what is wrong with these people!!!!

So..talked to my doctor again today...nothing yet.

Onward!!

Stacy

Apples to Apples

Hello All,

This past weekend was a doozie! Went to the bottles of hope event at the Nevada Cancer Institute, it was so much fun, and then went to the drag races at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. I really enjoyed the whole day, but I paid for it. I could barely walk by the end of the day. You know what I mean? I was just so tired, and sore...

Yesterday we had a good day, just had Dale and Johnny and the kids over. We grilled burgers, and then played Apples to Apples. I love that game. I think that everyone should just sit down and play this game.

If you don't know what it is, google it. It is a fun game that you can play with a whole bunch of people! It's a card game.

So I have been having such strange dreams lately. Like crazy strange. Shoes falling out of the sky...dreaming about baby cribs, and clothes...Who knows..

Ok..so have to get my day going...kinda boring I know...huh?

This is sooooooo Coool

Watch!

Wacky Weather!

Hello... Wow I am so bad at keeping up with the blogging huh? Ok...I changed my backgound again...

So I wanted to start talking about the weather and natural disasters.

Let's see what has been happening in the wonderful world now:

North Dakota has a lot of flooding and snow fall?
The Alaska Volcano..

Here is a Slide show of Wacky Weather in 2008.

Evil Hissssssssssssss

Hello...

So I was wondering about what is going on in this crazee world? The weather is crazy, and I think that I am going to start keeping a diary of all the crazy stuff that goes on in this planet...maybe only for a month...just a thought.

I have been feeling super achey for the past few days, and I am trying to figure that one out as well. I go to the rhumetologist on Friday morning which is good, and I can then get the answers to my blood test.

Oh I have to go for my annual exam again...argh...I have to keep up with that because of the whole Breast cancer/Ovarian cancer/Cervical cancer link. What a nice thing..huh? Wait.....you don't get just one of these diseases if you act fast we will throw in another one absolutely FREE! WoW.... Yea..that is the BRCA 1 or 2 Gene.

OH...come on now!!! That is so not fair! So Yes...I will go and get my wonderful PAP...and then That will be fine so I can breathe again...OH..but then Guess what??

I do have to go for my next Breast MRI. UGH..I do not like going to that! Last time I went was in November. Then I had to have another Biopsy in December. That one came back clear! STAY AWAY from my Boobies Please!

I would like to just skip around going to that one...but alas...that would be remiss..

So I will ask for my injection to make me relax...because last time I forgot, and I thought I was all "cool" and I can do this without drugs right? NOPE...freaked out when I was in the "TUBE"...no not the London Tube which is very cramped but I would rather be cramped in the London Tube not in the Nevada Cancer Institute Tube. And another question??? Who the hell invented the MRI machine? It is one noisey Mother! I mean honestly I think it actually speaks to you while it is going ...nya nya nya nya nya nya nya...Then you hear wee wee wee wee wee wee..then chk chk chk chk chk..then I swear it starts saying...Ha ha ha ha ha I have you in here...and you can't move! How do you like being in this tube which is much like being buried alive! Yes ALIVEW (evil hiss) Mua HA hA ha ha!

Ya..don't like it much can you tell?? So I will call my Onco today, and get my MRI set up.

Ok...I am outta here!

Stacy

Knowing

Hi... Ya Ya .. I know the whole I will write at least 3 times a week...doesn't work very well.

It's a very nice day here in Vegas. So I am thankful for that for sure.

Been really busy with Fight Pink

Been having good and bad days with the way I am feeling....

Not in a great writing mood

Today is Berto's 18th birthday.. WOW...already 18 that means I'm so old..and when the baby is born in October..Jeeze..I am really going to be old.

I guess getting older is a good thing.. It beats the alternative!

I am excited to see some movies that just came out...

1. Twilight is on DVD tomorrow! Whooooo!
2. Knowing with Nicholas Cage- OH I just read the review it gets 1 star out of 4...but I love Nicholas Cage..so will still go and see it!

Might see it next weekend... We will see..

Here is the movie trailer!

Stacy

It all started with a Deadbolt!

Picture this..... Sleeping soundly on a Sunday morning, head resting on the pillow while dreaming. Brrrrrrrrr. Brrrrrrrrrr. Brrrrrrrrr. That would be the vibration of my mobile phone next to my bed. On the other end My Mother! "Good Morning!" "Oh I didn't wake you up did I?" (ok at this point she didn't even wait to hear my answer, probably because of the 8 cups of coffee that she had) She continues talking and talking...here are some soundbites: "Oh my lock is stuck to the front door, you know which one I am talking about..the one above the regular lock"...I manage to squeek in the word Deadbolt?..."Yes, Yes, the deadbolt..oh you are so smart!"...Ok my ears perk up a bit at that statement...you see folks...she is just reeling me in....

I usually give my mother about 10 minutes per call...we talk about 3 times a day or more.... I should really talk to her more, but we are both busy. So back to the conversation. I am still lying on the pillow eyes closed. She is just talking and talking about how she can't find the pooper scooper, and for the life of her she can't remember where she put it. She says, "Oh it's probably in the weeds in the back yard, oh I have weeds..you should see them...they are tall!" I manage to grunt an "uh huh." I am at this point picturing her searching some high weeds in the back yard... "Oh she says can you hear that dog?" Nope..I only hear birds chirping. "This yippy dog has been barking and yipping since 6:30 am!" "So I walked over to the fence and yelled: HELLO, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR DOG, IT'S BEEN BARKING FOR 2 HOURS!" Sadly, no response...and the dog is still barking. She informs me that she is going to get on her bicycle and ride over to the house..behind her and find that dog and shut it up. Now at this point, in my mind I am visualizing Almira Gultch the(Wicked Witch of the East) on her bicycle..da da da da da dant...da da da da da dant.. Are you picturing it? You know from wizard of OZ? When Dorothy sees her out of her bedroom window in the tornado? Ya...I see my mom with her little basket on the the bike searching for ToTo!

Well...no luck with the dog, now we are back to the pooper scooper..she just remembered..."I killed a black widow in my storage space, that bitch!" Oh yes she found it and thanked God and her angels. Which is normal for her. Saying Bitch in one sentence, and thanking God and her angels in the next! Ok off we are going to talking about my Grandmother..her mom. She has people taking care of her, and also working on her home. She thinks that it may be a bit much for Grandma at this point. I am still lying on the pillow, but by now my eyes are open. I comment about Grama, and now we are back to the deadbolt. I ask her if she has any Wd40, to spray in the deadbolt, that is at this point dead. She rustles up some from the Garage, and sprays it in the lock. I ask her if she has a "handy man"..and she laughs hysterically. "A handy man, a handy man?? "Men aren't handy, that's why I don' have one!"

I laugh..and carry on with that thought..but my thoughts are interrupted by her saying. "Oh I have a story to tell you!" Her landlord told her that she had something to tell her. But she didn't want to tell her.. and my mother of course says, "What is this kindergarten?" "Spit it out I don't have all day!" (Oh to be 67 and not responsible for what you say) Her landlord laughs and says..."You know Jeff from the Gym..." My mom says: "Yeeea?" Well, I am seeing him, says her landlord. "Uggghh" my mother says. "Oh that wasn't the response I was looking for." (again to be 67 and not be responsible for what you say) "Well, I can stand him for exactly 2 minutes. Two minutes..then I have to walk away." Her landlord at this minute is probably kicking herself for saying something. She dares to ask why. My mother preceedes to tell her: "Well we had a conversation once, and I told him to Back off! You are in my space, and practically spitting on my face!" Again to be 67 and not responsible for what you say. I am, at this point wide awake, knees drawn up lying on my back, laughing my ass off. I made her repeat what she just said. The guy looked at her like she was a nut case, oh if he only knew!

Well, back to the handyman... her landlord has one, and said one evening as the toilet was running incessently...I will send him right over. Well he called said he would be there at 9pm. Well 9pm came and went, at around 10pm the doorbell rings..and being the 67 year old who can say what she wants, I guess I didn't know but as you get older, you can actually do what you want too! Well she listened to Ruby bark an bark..and then she looked at her clock...well should I get up and answer the door? The door bell rang again...ding ding ding ding...ya, at this point he was getting a bit pissy. Well..she thought I should get up. Opening the door to the so-called "handyman" she said "Well it' a little past 9pm, nice to see your on time!" (You see she doesn't like him much, this handyman..because she doesn't believe that men are handy) He grunts as he saunters by, and heads to the bathroom, fixes the toilet in 10 min flat, and heads to the door..he mumbles something under his breath...she is sure she hears the word be-otch..and says, "same to you!" as she slams the front door and pets Ruby's head.

Ok now we are back to the Deadbolt. She wiggles it a bit, and voila...it works! She sings words of praise to me, oh how smart I am..how wonderful I am. Ok ma...I just told you to spray some Wd40 into a lock, how hard is that!

Well...this was our phone call this morning... It lasted about 41 minutes and 31 seconds and that is how I woke up this morning. It all started with a deadbolt. Deadbolt, Dogs, Dorothy, Angels, God and Black Widows.

Wouldn't change it for the world. Thanks Mama.. I love you!

Stacy

Hysterical Hyponchondriacs ...that's a good thing!

Well hello,

I am really happy that I changed the name of my blog... New blog name: The Sub-Total Woman? I do indeed think so! Ya know when I first had an inkling that I may have Breast Cancer? Somewhere in the early summer of 07 actually.. How did I know that? Well it just came flying out of my mouth in an argument that I was having with Rob. Now we really don't have screaming matches...in fact..we are pretty calm when we argue. I was just talking about the incessant "same" stuff that we always talk about, and I said: "What if I had Breast Cancer, would that make you like stand up and realize that there is more to life than just a clean house?" Hmm... he stopped and looked at me and was like: "What do you mean?" Well he asks me this question because at this point he is scared...because I tend to get feelings...thoughts, and they usually come true...Bad or Good...scary or not.

He looked at me...and said...and I will never forget this.. (I was standing at the edge of the bed with laundry in one arm, and he was in the bed looking at me) he said: "I would never want that to happen to you..never." "I would never want anything to happen to you." Which is a good thing...because I honestly sometimes think the piano wire trick..was invented just for him!

So..I thought about it for a few days after that... and I ignored it. But as fate would step in...around January of 08...is when I had the dream. So.. I listened to the dream...and I do believe that I am alive because of it.

Listen to your intuition...even if your intuition is telling you something bad..don't ignore it EVER! Because we are mind, body, and spirit...all connected in one happy package. We live as if we are 3 in one... and we are not. Take all three aspects of you..and make them work together to be more aware of what is going on with your body.

Kinda like when someone is in the ER room waiting, because they are having terrible stomach pains...only to find out that they are about to deliver a baby! I don't get that... so completely unaware of themselves. Or..when someone is ignoring signs of ill health...for such a long time that they only come to the realization when there is a complete impairment of some limb, or eye.. Come on folks.. wake up... Don't be separate...

If you are a hysterical hypochondriac on the other hand...keep being that way...just don't tell everyone.. until you know for sure that you do have that "brain tumor." (Verifiable from a CT Scan!)

Unite...come together..and live!

Stacy

Earth Hour 2009

Well... I do believe that we can come together for a cause. Earth Hour 2009 will be awesome.

Take a look at the video:


Vegas will be dark...for an hour...pretty cool huh?

Stacy

TGIF

It's Friday finally. I am happy about that. Down time...

Wrote an email to Ray's teacher today..she is a sweet heart.

I'm a bit crabby..and grumpy... I think Tired.

Ya..that's it..

So... no more writing..


LOL..

ME

Little Wonders.....Rob Thomas...

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

Trial and Suffering..or Blue Butterflies?

Hey It's Valentines Day.

Had a really normal day today. Didn't do anything..but clean the house..go to Sam's club and then just have Crab legs. I sat down with Coco, and Bear and Ray...it was a good dinner. We talked about my life..from when I was a little girl to now. Boy that took a long time.. all the while we had a large pizza pan in the middle with tons of Snow crab legs.. asparagus, melted butter..and lemon. We all just grabbed legs..ripped them apart..ate the meat..and laughed and talked. I never knew some of the things that CoCo told me of her life. Interesting..how your life shapes you. Your experiences shape you into the person that you are today.

I find that people who have been through much in their early lives...usually fair better with crisis situations and just life better.. It's the ones who are sheltered in life... the one's who haven't been through much...I don't know, maybe I'm off base..but honestly it seems that they tend to just take things--crisis so much harder. Like they are looking for that white horse to take them away---or Someone to jump out and say...nahh..this isn't really happening.

The Butterflies..I just thought they were beautiful all flocked on the tree...

Helen Keller says it best: "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller

I do have to say...it's friggin true! I'm living proof..... Stacy

Flowers...Hearts....Sam's Club..

Hi......

It's Valentines Day... And boy have I had some conversations today. It started this morning with a call from my mom...she is so sweet, and always so worried about me. We had a funny conversation..and she was telling me all about her neighbor who was crying because her husband doesn't believe in Valentines Day. Honestly..what man does? The men, actually think Geeze..I have to go and get flowers or a card, or something else...I was in the line at Sam's club an I saw a man holding flowers...he looked a bit hurried, because it was about 5:30..and I wondered what was going on in his head.

He was in line at Sam's club...getting a bouquet of flowers...I kinda felt sorry for him. He looked goofy to me. I'm not judging, no not at all, just stating the facts. I could tell that he was not at all comfortable with his purchase. Like if he was getting a DVD of "Saving Private Ryan" or the whole 5th season of "South Park" he would have looked much more comfortable with his purchase. He was thinking... " I hope these are good enough." "Are these good enough?" "SHIT..what if she doesn't like them?" He was looking at every flower, and smelling them and then looking again... The poor soul. All of this for a bouquet of flowers that will be put into water, then be thrown out in the trash with the empty milk carton, and the empty box of cereal.

All of that...just to give someone flowers. Well...as I stared at him a bit more..(out of the corner of my eye...I'm not a stalker!) I then started to feel good for him. Good that he took the time out of his day to just pick up a bouquet of flowers from Sam's Club. Then I though that the woman who was to get those flowers..was actually lucky that he took the time to go to a where house superstore to get flowers! People were selling all kinds of flowers on the street corners...flowers, bears..candy.

So as I checked out of the market...I watched him smile...say thank you..and then turn for the door.. Happy with his purchase. Happy to make someone else happy. I guess that's all that really matters. Just as long as you are happy! Because, Life's to short to be anything but happy!

Stacy

And You Wonder Why?

Are the camera's rolling?

They have to be..... again my life! Never get a break. But hey that is what this dream is all about I guess.

I can't talk about what is going on right at this time..but I will reveal in the future..

Well...I changed my blog...I like the butterfly! Is that a Butterfly?

LOL...Little blue Butterfly...

Oh I must say I do love my friend Christina in Texas...she is a great inspiration and an amazing person!

Love you all....

Hello! Nothing much to report on my health. Besides the fact that I almost had a heart attack yesterday. I can't tell you why....but I will soon. Other than that...its just a normal day of watching the fish swim, watching the clouds ...oh..no clouds today!

I really think that life is just crazy. Honestly. Just when you think you've got it down, BAM something hits you like a freight train.

My health is good...and it will keep getting better. I have been on the treadmill, and walking everyday which will help with my joints. Which by the way are always sore! A side affect of LIFE I think!

Wanted to write in the blog today..so to report any changes in my world. Oh yes, how my world changed yesterday....

I will tell you when I can. Is it good? I think so... oh the picture above..it's Bear and CoCo... aren't they cute?

Stacy

Jack and Jill vs. The World

DREAMER: "Well I come from an Island, its called the Island of Heart. It's surrounded by the sea of Intuition. The days are short and the nights are even shorter, and every dawn a fresh breeze blows away the static thoughts and dead ideas."

REALIST: "So, I come from the planet earth. My people are stubborn and set in their ways. Our ideas don't just float in on a breeze. We plant them in the ground, and watch them into big ass trees, with big ass roots. I eat dreamers for breakfast!

DREAMER: Ya Right? You drink your breakfast from a can!

I have always been called a Dreamer...and mostly in a derogitory sense...Keep your feet on the ground! I'm told...Don't reach for the stars. You're such a Dreamer! all the while shaking their heads, tsk tsk tsk...

Well you know what? You BUZZ KILLERS! I have this little half moon paper weight on my desk. It is silver and engraved. The inscription says "Dreams are necessary to life"

Another quote from this film that I love....

Jack and Jill are walking to his car...a silver mercedes.

She says, "Oh, he sweeps me away in his big boring silver bullet."
He says, "That's not good enough for you Princess?"
She Says, "No, I was hoping for a chariot and Unicorns, something a little less predictable!"

I'm so the "she says." The Dreamer.....and I am so happy for that. I will never keep my feet on the ground...I will never stop reaching for the stars..and I will never stop being me...until me stops...

:)

Touchin Base

Just a quick note to say hello....

I am underwater actually....been sick, kids sick...everyone sick. So going to get an x-ray tomorrow on my chest...been coughing too much. Lets hope that we can nip it in the bud. Well it's been a few days I been sick... Like since last week..Today is Monday..and I am really happy that tonight is the season opener of Heroes and also Medium! Yea.

So I am just relaxing with my little one who is sick with an ear infection..I just coughing and coughing...

I will touch base this week...again..

Stacy

Germs...

Hi...it's been a while...

Well I thought that I should write at least 3 times a week. I really should...So I will vow to do it!

Well we have all been so sick...I have been putting it off..right? Like you can put being sick off..I should say pushing it off... I have been taken care of everyone..and it's been making me tired. Well we had to go to go away for the weekend for a Family function...and I was sooo sick the whole time. Drove home last night...

Just got off of the phone with my oncologist, and.......argh.... he won't give me any antibiotis...He thinks taht this is a virus that must work itself out...I told him that I will give him a call in a couple of days from the hospital and let him know how I am feeling. He laughed (nervously) and said that he would rather see me tomorrow and get an x-ray if I feel really bad. So..I will keep you updated.

My thought for this: I know me. I know my body...do I have a virus? Nope..it is some icky mean bunch of germs, actually having a party right inside my lungs! Yep, throwing a party, drinks, friends and the whole shebang!

I know I will need antibiotics...let's just see if I know me?

Stay tuned.......

Stacy

Super Bowl

Damn....

My Cardinals lost! I was fully expecting them to win, Warner to retire..and then be put into the football Hall of Fame...but no....the interception that he threw...cooked his goose. Ok...so ... on the goal line, ready to score..and Warner has 4 downs...it's 1st down he throws a short pass....in the endzone..(he's on the 3rd yard line) That is 3 yrds to pretty much a victory. He throws in interception. Now this is just no interception. It is one that makes Superbowl history. Never has an interception been returned for a touchdown for 100 yards. Yep, intercepted in the goal line, and the guy ran it all the way back for a touchdown for the Steelers! I just about died!

Well, that cost them the game, oh and the catch that Rothlessberger threw to Santanio Holmes with only 36 seconds left in the game. I may not be right on the seconds left, but it was less than a minute... I will try to find the catch on You tube...(Long pause) Found it....Here it is.... this is an amazing catch...and one I felt straight to the gut!



Well there has to be winners and loosers! But Curt Warner will always be a winner in my book!

No matter what! He is an exceptional man, and has an even greater story behind his life. I'm sure most of you know it anyway..

Ok.....Still sick... calling the doctor...again!

Take care..

Stacy

Obama.........

What America means to me....

Today was the Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America. Barack Hussein Obama is our new President. While I marvel at the whole election process within these great borders, I sit intently this morning in my home in Nevada, and watch history.

Why? Why is this inauguration so different than others in the most recent past? We have a new leader, a new order...and a new promise for change. We are at war. We are in the worst economic health since the Great Depression, yet we came out in the millions, yes folks....millions of people to see Mr. Obama take his oath of office.

His speech was to me, very good. He spoke so eloquently as he always does, and spread a message of inclusiveness, united...based not on religion, or color, but on the fact that we are one...all Americans.

Some people go about their day, not even thinking of what took place today. That to me is unbelievable. Today is history, forever history. Barack Obama is the first African American to become President. Why is that such a big deal. Many other countries in this world would be asking. Why? Well 60 years ago...which is not that long ago if you look at time..a black man, woman or child was not allowed to sit in a restaurant where white people were served. NOW...we have a black man as President of the United States...the greatest nation in this world.

History....this is history. This is Democracy. This is what our great country has built its history upon. This is what men and women have spilled their blood for on battle fields across our soil as well as other nations to bring freedom from oppression, freedom from hatred, freedom not for one...but for all. We must never forget what has built our nation. Within the Gettysburg address President Lincoln said it best: “The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.” He was talking about the brave men, living and dead, who struggled here in this great Nation on a battlefield.

I think of every American today, I think about the many brave souls who fight daily to keep our Nation a nation of Democracy, by the people, for the people...and I thank them.

This President has an 82% approval rating on his first day....we will watch with a hopeful eye..this rating grow...8 out of 10 people in America approve of Mr. Obama...8 out of 10 Americans are willing to wait..to see how things improve..

Mr. Obama has enormous good will...but we have a mis-trust of government..he will change this..we know.

Stacy

We have a New President ! Whew!

Here is the video of the actual swearing in!



Here is an excerpt from his speech and the full text version!



January 20, 2009, 12:07 pm
President Obama’s Inaugural Address
As prepared for delivery.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].”

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.